Sorry. I'm just filled with too much negativity about life that everything, and almost everyone is pissing me off. Ok. Maybe not. I'm just exaggerating.

If I actually voice my freak opinions out, I would definitely get discriminated and judged upon. It's not a matter of whether I mind that happening, but it would somehow affect me, that I admit. It's like how I don't care of what one says of me, but in actual fact, I'm probably cracking up inside just that I don't show it. Its time I actually realise that I am a normal being, unable to be like a duper extraordinary person because I'm not even making the effort to. Therefore, I'd rather keep these thoughts and opinions to myself, torture myself by doing so in the meanwhile and sooner or later, break out. In conclusion and for a note to myself, I realise I don't forgive and forget. It's easier said than done. I realise, I don't move on in life and I don't even make an effort to stop dwelling on the negative, somehow, I concentrate more on them.

How many 'I's have I mentioned in the previous paragraph? Quite a number. Because, I do admit, that the problem lies within and in me. This problem, I am unable to solve. Sorry.

At the same while, I believe some fault lies in others as well. Because I strongly believe one should stop trying to pose and fake to just be accepted. And also thinking of how you've done that for the past months and years, and not forgetting, making use of us, then now, making use of others, it's amazing coming to think of how you've done that and pretending nothing has happened. Great. Apparently, I know of one who does that. The fault lies greatly in you. Or maybe not. Forget it. Just stay clear. One day, I might just tell you to screw off, or maybe not, because, I. Do. Not. Have. The. Guts. To. Do. So. and unbelivably, I'd consider the feelings of yours but more likely, of how I'd have retribution and then comments and remarks will be the ultimate backlash.

It's time I take a step back of of the fast paced life or more likely, the routine and analyse the way human beings behave. I am pretty sure it can get as amusing as it can be however, oblivious to how each and everyone of a person, I am most probably greatly reflected in that certain and particular one individual. That is the main problem of this world nowadays. Everyone stands as an individual, vying to be the strongest and most outstanding of all. But yet, does anyone even realise how if eveyone tries their best in doing so, no one gains a little bit from it. In turn, everyone is just neglected.

Meanwhile, I have not set targets for the Mid Year Exams this year and I do know that along the journey of screwing up my Secondary 4 school life, I have also earned that golden ticket for the "Fail All Your Subjects" path, which apparently, a whole lot of students have claimed to have gotten it. In true fact, that's what everyone thinks and they're all wrong because I know I have literally no hope of resurrecting.

I'm just thinking how I am going to survive the next week, without whining at the papers while merely scanning through the papers, then burying my face into my hands and lie my head on the table because I am desperate to get out of the examination hall as soon as possible because just as I am stoning at the paper and the clocks in front and the side and not forgetting, trying in desperation to at least attempt a few questions or so, I'm already dying. Tell me how. Impossible.

I will be gone for a little while.

Oh. What a negative post.

MRS AUDREY CULLUM
8:21 PM