Due to the results of the first half of the year, I've decided to (finally) wake up and slog during the holidays. Partly being inspired and motivated by the speeches A Lim has given the Geog girls and in turn, they've been preaching bout it or somewhat, and also being given the kickstart by just the look of my results, I will minimalize my visits to MSN, and also, the amount of times my hands touch the keyboard, unless it's Literature notes.

That was probably the cue for you to go..."Yeah right, Audrey"

Yes, sure I'm right. I'm going to make sure I'm going to be dead right this time round. I've made a million mistakes this first half of the year, and despite the resolutions I've made at the beginning of the year, I'm still the same old, slacking Audrey. Therefore, having no time and not being able to fail my Os, I've decided to seriously, work hard for the next months. Especially when the Os is not my only upcoming obstacle. I've yet another Music exam.

My mom still thinks I'm trying to pull of the stunt I did in Secondary 2. You need not know what the stunt is. Neither do you need to know how badly I did for this MYEs.

This is then, the cue for you to go..."All the best, Audrey. Good luck with your slogging plans." because the more I think of it, the more I think I'm incapable of achieving any of it. Goodness gracious.

Now, here, if you've decided to take a break from your Mother Tongue slogging and come online, here I wish you, All the Best for tomorrow's Big and Final step.

MRS AUDREY CULLUM
7:10 PM




No words that I know of, can describe my day yesterday.

MRS AUDREY CULLUM
1:40 PM




I actually survived the torture of receiving paper after paper in that stupid hall, and trying to my fullest to attempt the questions to the best of my capabilities.

I have to confess, I am so not in the mood to blog. I decided to do so to let you people know that I'm still alive, the least.

I have been thinking of the list of things to do during the June holidays. It seems to me that most of it says..."Starbucks. Study." My mom supports that statement somehow. That's bad. In conclusion, from now on, I pretty much have not much of a life and I am so not going to even enjoy myself when I'm out. Clear reason, I don't even have the kaching kaching to spare. I'm hard on every cent now. And I'm trying to eat less, because my awesomely ridiculous, yet fat tuition teacher claims I'm fat and I'm putting on weight. How...ironic yet spastic. I'm not going on any diet the least so no need to worry. I'm just going to eat less. In the meantime, spend less.

Now see, I'm rather surprised at my interest of music. Believe or not, I actually like...Mika. That's the cue for you to go wow. Lol. His music can be quite poppy but hard to believe, I've been rather interested in poppy stuff. Ok. Maybe not. I don't know. My mind's rather scattered all over the floor. Don't ask. I think I should really stop blogging. It's such a chore. On the other hand, I'm rather bored because there's nothing to stone at and there's no struggling to go through for concentrating.

I shall never again, blog about my life but instead, blog about a random topic or thought I've probably had sometime ago or so. Hmmm..Interesting.

Oh. By the way, if you're really bored, check out that dumb test thingy at the side of my blog, under the links. I was too bored and I got that from Jeanette and I pretty much suck at doing such shit, cause I've scored really badly in Jeanette's and Nat's one.

Life is such a bore. I'm not even making an effort to try to make it a tiny bit better.

MRS AUDREY CULLUM
8:00 PM




Sorry. I'm just filled with too much negativity about life that everything, and almost everyone is pissing me off. Ok. Maybe not. I'm just exaggerating.

If I actually voice my freak opinions out, I would definitely get discriminated and judged upon. It's not a matter of whether I mind that happening, but it would somehow affect me, that I admit. It's like how I don't care of what one says of me, but in actual fact, I'm probably cracking up inside just that I don't show it. Its time I actually realise that I am a normal being, unable to be like a duper extraordinary person because I'm not even making the effort to. Therefore, I'd rather keep these thoughts and opinions to myself, torture myself by doing so in the meanwhile and sooner or later, break out. In conclusion and for a note to myself, I realise I don't forgive and forget. It's easier said than done. I realise, I don't move on in life and I don't even make an effort to stop dwelling on the negative, somehow, I concentrate more on them.

How many 'I's have I mentioned in the previous paragraph? Quite a number. Because, I do admit, that the problem lies within and in me. This problem, I am unable to solve. Sorry.

At the same while, I believe some fault lies in others as well. Because I strongly believe one should stop trying to pose and fake to just be accepted. And also thinking of how you've done that for the past months and years, and not forgetting, making use of us, then now, making use of others, it's amazing coming to think of how you've done that and pretending nothing has happened. Great. Apparently, I know of one who does that. The fault lies greatly in you. Or maybe not. Forget it. Just stay clear. One day, I might just tell you to screw off, or maybe not, because, I. Do. Not. Have. The. Guts. To. Do. So. and unbelivably, I'd consider the feelings of yours but more likely, of how I'd have retribution and then comments and remarks will be the ultimate backlash.

It's time I take a step back of of the fast paced life or more likely, the routine and analyse the way human beings behave. I am pretty sure it can get as amusing as it can be however, oblivious to how each and everyone of a person, I am most probably greatly reflected in that certain and particular one individual. That is the main problem of this world nowadays. Everyone stands as an individual, vying to be the strongest and most outstanding of all. But yet, does anyone even realise how if eveyone tries their best in doing so, no one gains a little bit from it. In turn, everyone is just neglected.

Meanwhile, I have not set targets for the Mid Year Exams this year and I do know that along the journey of screwing up my Secondary 4 school life, I have also earned that golden ticket for the "Fail All Your Subjects" path, which apparently, a whole lot of students have claimed to have gotten it. In true fact, that's what everyone thinks and they're all wrong because I know I have literally no hope of resurrecting.

I'm just thinking how I am going to survive the next week, without whining at the papers while merely scanning through the papers, then burying my face into my hands and lie my head on the table because I am desperate to get out of the examination hall as soon as possible because just as I am stoning at the paper and the clocks in front and the side and not forgetting, trying in desperation to at least attempt a few questions or so, I'm already dying. Tell me how. Impossible.

I will be gone for a little while.

Oh. What a negative post.

MRS AUDREY CULLUM
8:21 PM