I make wrong decisions all the time.

Gen, if the entire clique gives me an alarm clock, I'll just die, because my brother will kill me, for being too noisy. Neighbours will go crazy. Haha. And worse still, I still might be sleeping. Think of another suggestion. Haha.

CCA Orientation today, was ____________.
(a) exhausting
(b) retarded
(c) fun
(d) all of the above
(e) audrey-has-no-comments

Answer: (d)

True that partly, I do not have much comments, but I suppose, after all the work, I feel satisfied. You know that sense of achievement. But definitely, this can't be compared to the sense of achievement I had at NCO. Well, so, stayed up till 3am just to complete stuff for the orientation and the thing was that, the stuff I did, weren't a big part. Nobody read the thingy, so well. Right. Half the time, we did talking instead. Sec 1s I must say, are...well, so, irritating. Very? Yeah. I heard someone pointed the middle finger. And do you look like you're oh so big, that when we approach you, you go..."Not again..." Hello?! This is a CCA Orientation, if not how is it supposed to be like?! Like, "Oh, don't join our CCA." Duhly, not. Dumb assholes. No offence to other good guai Sec 1s.

So we have 20 plus people on the list. Well, not too good. But anyways, we've got some in already. So yeah. I just want to see who turns up for the audition. I'm expecting less than half of the list. Yeah, I'm that pessimistic.

The band, is becoming from bad to worse. Alright, maybe not all, but some. Some, and these some just spoil the entire band. I'm sorry if I've been unreasonable, but at that moment, I think that's been the best thing to do. Do I look like I like to shout, shout and shout, every practice. Count for you all to rush? Well, obviously, no. Farah and Sherri always suffer under my voice. And the worse thing, is that, alright, so I don't shout, we try to talk to the band. Nicely. But, the band just does not listen or understand. It's simple English, not fanciful language, and I can repeat for a thousand times yet some will still get it wrong. Why? I don't know. Distraction it must be. The passion, is not even there. Everyone comes for band because we're obliged to. It wasn't like this before. Never. I remember, the current Sec 4s, loving band like hell in the past, when we were Sec 1s, we were so proud to come back for band practices. Now, we find it almost a chore. Now, even the juniors, show us attitude problems. Yeah, we have awesome fun at times. But, band practices and the band is becoming like...well, worse. Even Farah and Sherri don't know what to do at times, because there's seriously no hope. No initiative, no common sense, no responsibility, no awakening. I think we'll make awesome actresses because we managed to make people believe our "fake" characters. I suppose the whole world is so hypocritical, and so fake anyway. Well, anyway, some others, come up to either Mr De or Mrs Chua, from what I heard today, and praise our band saying, that the band sounds good, discipline is good. Yeah right. You must be kidding me. It used to be. It used to be when the Seniors, being Adlin's batch was around. Lord, why?

I don't understand why, the band was feeling demoralised that nobody were listening to them just now. I mean, the band could barely be heard, even the Percussion couldn't hear the Clarinets, how'd you expect the Sec 1s to know you're there. And yes, we already told them that you're there. So. What else? And sorry bout the weather and all. Apparently, I don't control it. Reason why you all shouldn't feel demoralised is that you all should enjoy performing, doing what you like, and not to be affected by who is listening. I don't think you all might get the point, but well. The audience doesn't matter that much, just as long, as you're having fun, enjoying what you're doing, everything would be awesome. Audience would make it more fun though. Just look when the band shifted to the hall today, those on stage dancing, I bet you all had an awesome time. And if you noticed, we didn't entirely get all the attention of the Sec 1s but well, who cares, we were having fun weren't we? Get my point here? Goodness, how many times must long talks be given. Fall in at 2.30 for juniors, the time we, being Farah, Sherri and I, noticing the juniors starting to play was at 3.15 plus. Wow.

I did lots of propaganda to the Sec 1s just now for sure. I mean, you realise, I said, that we're one big family and all, the good stuff, HAHA. I must have been kidding. Well, don't get me wrong. I'm not entirely angry, I'm just disappointed. That's just how I look at things they were just now. My opinions. Comment if you want to, don't do it behind my back. And, I know, for sure, some arses must be thinking otherwise, like "You think it's so easy to do this and this and this...You come and sit under the sun and play la! " and all. I know. I'm just trying to straighten out my thoughts, if it's just me or the band.

I'm so bloody tired. Workload, piles and piles. Blame it on myself, duh. I'm just wondering how I can cope. I ask myself, why in the world am I taking 9 subjects for. I don't know. Stupidity. 6 Social studies essays, Macbeth notes, A maths, E maths, History essay. Goodness. I didn't think/know it'd be this bad.

I tried not to sleep in class, but I fell asleep. Couldn't help it and I was mistaken for having a headache and was actually excused and understood. Wow, by who? Mdm Justina Chan. Even more WOW. Haha.

Oh and I embarrassed myself by approaching two Sec 3s, thinking that they're Sec 1s, asking them to join band. Goodness. Cindy Poh, thanks alot. Arse.

I can and can't wait for Hawaii, both at the same time.

Mrs Audrey Cullum

MRS AUDREY CULLUM
8:33 PM